If I write a Big Brother 17 blog recap for Your Reality Recaps, and no one reads it, did I really write the blog? I have often answered this question with the word “no,” but perhaps I should have been asking a much larger question… what is a blog?
also…
If Liz has an orgasm, and Austin can’t hear her making any sounds and she just lies there like a dead fish, did she really have an orgasm? Perhaps I should have been asking the much larger question… what is an orgasm?
Ok, I’m not really here to get all deep and introspective and shit like Austin/Judas likes to pretend to be. I’m here to recap the latest episode of Big Brother 17 for you! We left off with Austin becoming the Head of Household for the week. He decided to take the chicken shit route of nominating Johnny Mac and Steve for eviction. One of them is likely to be leaving Thursday unless the Power of Veto is used to save one of them. Read on to find out what happened in Wednesday’s episode!
As usual, we begin with the aftermath of the nomination ceremony. Austin says that he still plans to target Vanessa if the veto happens to save one of his nominees. Yeah, sure. Johnny Mac says that the doesn’t feel safe at all being on the block and Steve is irritated that Austin went back on their alliance, but he also gives 
props to Vanessa for working her “magic” once again. Vanessa runs up to Austin and the twins in the HOH room with tears in her raccoon eyes and says that she is grateful for him not nominating her and putting up John and Steve together. She promises them that she will not cross them and that she has “good integrity.” First of all, I didn’t think there was any other kind of integrity but “good” integrity. Secondly, Vanessa is very loyal… until she decides it’s your turn to go, and when it’s your time, she makes SURE you’re the one that goes! Why these fools always fall for this bit hook, line and sinker will baffle me for years to come. Steve comes upstairs to the HOH room and joins the group. Austin tells him that he will NOT be going home if the noms stay the same. He says that the plan is to send Johnny Mac home if the noms stay the same (well duh… who else would it be?!). Things aren’t looking good for my boy Johnny Mac at this point because we all know Vanessa probably won’t be going on the block because Austin doesn’t have the balls or the brains to make a big move like that.
It is time to pick players for the veto competition! Of course, Austin and the two nominees will be playing in the competition. Each of them must choose a person who will also be participating in the comp. Will this be the time that Julia finally gets to play in a veto comp? Austin goes first and chooses Vanessa’s chip. Wonderful. Just what we needed. John draws the next chip and, once again, he chooses Meg’s chip. Finally, Steve draws Julia’s chip out of the box and she finally gets to play in a veto! Yay for Julia… I guess?!
It’s time to “surprise” the houseguests with an annual Big Brother tradition. That’s right… Zingbot is back in the house! Of course, this isn’t really a surprise to the houseguests or us, because we all know which week everything will happen in the house because that’s how stale and predictable this show has gotten, but I digress. Zingbot announces to the houseguests that he is newly “zingle” and got an upgrade… he’s now Zingbot 9000! This is direct shade to the original (read: GOOD) Zingbot Twitter account, @Zingbot_3000. Oh, that’s another thing… Zingbot now has a new “official” Twitter account: @ZingbotOfficial. Let me just say that the “official” account sucks ass and isn’t funny at all. Follow the “original bitch bot” for funny, clever zings against current and previous houseguests! I must say I was rather disappointed in the “new and improved” Zingbot this year, because his zings just weren’t that funny! The only good ones were Meg’s gameplay being more “Sucks in the City” than “Sex in [sic]the City” (Yeah, Zingbot screwed that one up… it’s “Sex AND the City.”) and also where Zingbot threw shade at Liz for being with Austin and ruining his relationship with his girlfriend at home. But, it takes two, and I hate that Liz is the only one to get roasted for that when Austin is just as bad or worse for cheating on his girlfriend. But hey… whatever!
It’s time for the Power of Veto competition! This is of course going to be Zingbot-themed as it usually is each year. “Newly Zingle” is the face “morph” competition where each player takes a turn figuring out which three faces from the memory wall are in each photo. The houseguest with the quickest time will win. They changed it up a little this year and everyone that’s not playing at the time watches the person playing up in the HOH room. I like this concept because it doesn’t allow anyone to “throw” the comp by running up the timer. This year’s face morph comp seemed 
a little easier than year’s past, though. You can tell by the poses in each picture who at least one of the houseguests will be, and the facial features are more prominent and easily noticeable. Julia is up first and clocks in with a time of 4:45, so someone else must beat that in
order to win the Power of Veto. Steve is up next and struggles trying to figure out the faces. His time ends up running longer than Julia’s so he is eliminated from the competition. Up 
next is Austin and he is unable to distinguish what facial features belong to Liz and which don’t. You can’t blame the guy, though, he spends all of his time focused on her vagina in the HOH room. He doesn’t have time to focus on her face! His time also runs over Julia’s and he is eliminated. Vanessa is next and she absolutely murders this competition with a time of 2:51. Hers will be tough to beat! Johnny Mac is next and the poor guy struggled so hard to get the faces right and he was unable to beat Vanessa’s time. Meg is last and of course she’s unable to pull this off because let’s face it… comps aren’t her thing. Vanessa wins the Power of Veto with the fastest time of 2:51.
Vanessa talks with Johnny Mac in the backyard to see where his head is at. She asks him if he is over Becky and Clay being sent home. He tells her that he is alone in the game and has no one. He’s trying to show her that he is a better option to stay in the house because he has no loyalties and therefore not a threat. I totally understand his “sad little puppy” routine but will this work on Vanessa? She talks to Austin and then later tells Johnny Mac that her hand is forced and she cannot use the POV to save him.
It is time for the veto meeting. Vanessa has the option to save one of the nominees from eviction or leave them intact for the week. By this point, I’m sure we all know what she’s going to do. In his plea to Vanessa, Johnny Mac says that he’s been in this position before and that asking her to use the veto would be dumb because it’s like a gazelle asking a tiger to hang out and not eat him. Johnny Mac always has the best speeches. Have I mentioned I love that guy? Vanessa then tells both nominees that she knows they were gunning to get her out of the house and that she will not be using the veto save either of them this week. Since she’s not using the veto, both nominees remain on the block and either Steve or Johnny Mac will be evicted on Thursday.
Shout out to the live feeders.
With much love, I bid you farewell… for now.
Vince
What are your thoughts on this episode? Are you upset that Vanessa did not use the veto? Who do you want to be evicted on Thursday, Johnny Mac or Steve? And which of the first 4 jury members do you want to come back into the game Thursday night? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below or on Twitter @vince1187. Let’s keep this conversation going!
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